8 ways to survive a horror movie (hint: charge your phone)Topic: Lifestyle
Smartphones have made horror movie screenwriters miserable. In the old days, the killer could just clip the phone wires of a house. But now that everyone has a phone in their pocket, it’s a much more complicated endeavor. And yet, if the audience is to suspend disbelief, smartphones must be accounted for. These days, any teens fleeing a deranged antagonist, a la Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, or Halloween, would have a phone ready to call the cops and take a selfie while fleeing.
It’s become a kind of cliché in the horror business for a phone battery to die sometime before the characters do. And while we hate clichés, the camp and schlock of horror movies goes hand-in-hand with Halloween. For the sake of fun, we compiled this list of eight films featuring today’s most common horror movie trope. Put another way, it’s a list of films in which Team Ventev could save the day with extra power.
Cloverfield: Some kind of monster descends upon New York City. A man fleeing the chaos loots a department store to replace his dying phone battery. The seed charge gives him just enough juice to find out his girlfriend is in trouble, but no more. He and a group of friends set out to find her. New Ventev batteries, like the powercell 3015+, come precharged. Just sayin’.
House of Wax: After their car breaks down, a group of friends – one of them played by Paris Hilton – ends up in an abandoned Louisiana town populated by two brothers who like to encase people in wax. Fleeing the brothers, Paris’ character finds herself in an abandoned sugar refinery, where she stumbles on a box of discarded flip phones. All of them are dead. Seems like a job for the powercell 3015c.
House of Good and Evil: A couple with an extremely troubled marriage move to an isolated house without phone service in this psychological thriller in which we can never really trust the mental state of the main character. Her cell phone becomes her lifeline to the outside world after her husband leaves to fight a fire. It is revealed that she lost her cell phone charger in the move as her mental state deteriorates. We’d suggest Ventev’s Rose Gold Alloy chargesync cable, which is durable and stylish enough to match her home décor.
Jeepers Creepers: In this 2001 film, siblings Trish and Darry drive through the countryside, when they encounter the original Florida Man, an ancient demon that emerges from hibernation every 23 years to feast on humans. While driving, they run out of juice. Darry has a charger, but the cigarette lighter on Trish’s car doesn’t work. Should have packed a powercell 6000, which isn’t monster proof, but provides 20 hours of additional talk time.
The Roost: Four friends on their way to a wedding crash their car and encounter zombies, and a roost of vampire bats. The phone gets used too much, and hence, dies. If only they’d had the r900, which doubles as a car charger and emergency backup battery.
Red Eye: Terrorists bent on killing the director of homeland security try to enlist Lisa Reisert (Rachel McAdams) in their plot by threatening to kill her father if she doesn’t help them. The plot of this Wes Craven thriller is a bit confusing: Reisert is the manager of the hotel where said homeland security director is staying, and the terrorists want her to move his room so they can shoot a missile at him. If they have missiles, why do they need Rachel as their middle man? Anyway, Lisa escapes, and steals a cell phone to warn her father, but the cell phone dies. It’s yet another reason to carry portable power, like the powercell 3015, which can charge your phone while you run from danger.
The Gingerdead Man: After a deranged killer is cremated, a witch mixes his ashes with gingerbread spice and bakes them into a cookie. An evil cookie. At some point, the evil cookie, aka The Gingerdead Man, gets locked in a walk-in refrigerator. The characters try to call for help, but alas, their cell phone is dead. Not only could the powercell 3015c have saved them, it’s also thinner than the Gingerdead Man and fits easily in a pocket or purse. Also, Gary Busey is in this movie.
The Strangers: Dapper villains wearing super creepy masks disrupt a couple’s wintertime getaway in an empty beach town in this home-invasion horror flick. The trio of killers throw one cell phone in the fireplace and take the battery from another. You know, a spare battery might help in this situation, but we’re inclined to recommend the Ventev dashport r2240 – the better to stay charged in your car while you find a better place for a romantic getaway than a beach town in winter.